Weary

beautiful bloom blooming blur
Photo by Pok Rie on Pexels.com

If I had to grow food out of a garden
with soil as hard as your heart
and weeds as noxious as your anger
I’d starve.

You aren’t my garden, I know
I can’t till your soil
I can’t make you receive the seed.

Some days I feel like I’m fighting
dandelion weed
everywhere
and not just that
but storm
after storm after
storm
after
drought
after fire
after abandonment.

And here I am, back at this same old plot.
Where the fence is broken
and the weeds are has high
and thick as a field of sunflowers-
but there are no sunflowers.

Every day I set out to make something
grow here.
Something besides pig weed and goat heads.
I get out my weed whacker,
turn on some music,
work up a sweat,
clear a patch
and then I stand up
slow,
my joints aching,
and find acre
after acre
of more weeds
and broken vessels,
trash
and thorns.

How long?
How long, O Lord?
How long am I to keep
working this stubborn,
weed-infested ground?

I’m tired.
About to put down my tools
and go find a spot where
the pig weeds are thick
and lay down.

At least the sun will warm
my skin
and I can enjoy
a moment of peace.

5 Comments

  1. never grow weary of doing good. He pulls the weeds. Lay down the hoe, His burden is light. That is why He will make us Lay down in green pastures and let the SON warm our skin.I’m praying for you tonight sis.Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  2. I’ve been there. I was encouraged this week in Mark 4 – the parable of the sower. When we really look at that passage, it’s not about the sower at all. All the sower does is sow. Casting seeds. That’s it. The parable is really about the soils. The sower doesn’t produce the fruit. And fruitfulness is dependent on the condition of the soil. This is a huge comfort in our weary efforts because it reminds us that it’s not up to us. And it’s okay to rest in the waiting. And a reminder to pray for the condition of the soil before, during, and after we cast our seeds.

  3. Thanks Jana! Some days are harder than others to remember the truth and believe it. It’s good to have voices saying, “Look at the truth!” Thank you! Bless you!

  4. Thank you sis! Some days I don’t know what good I can do in this weed infested garden and I need to hear the encouragement of my sister! 😘

  5. Thank you Sheila for sharing your struggles so generously. You should know that you are sowing into my life in a way that encourages me to keep on sowing into the lives of my loved ones. I am learning to rejoice in this even when it looks hopeless. Then my faithful Lord reaches out to me through his faithful followers like you in the midst of their own despair. Amazing how our God works. Thank you Sheila for your transparency!!!💖

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.