“Help my unbelief!”
Is what I pray most often.
Because I don’t see you,
I can’t feel you,
and I seem to be the recipient of
decreased sensation to your work.
Chris was onto something,
because I can’t smell the color nine either.
There is this whiff,
this glimpse I get like
when a hummingbird whizzes by
in all her green, gold, blue and yellow glory.
Maybe I can smell the fragrance of Christ.
Maybe I have caught a flash of his beauty.
Like the man with neuropathy whose nerves
have replaced the sensation
of wet sand between his toes
with a dull, tingling pain-
I want to feel you.
But there’s something wrong with me.
Please help my unbelief!
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Published by Sheila Dougal
Hey, I'm Sheila, glad you're here.
A little about me: I'm a 40-something woman, wife, mom, RN, soap maker and wannabe suburban homesteader. I think better when I write. I've kept a journal since I was 9 and started blogging 10 years ago. I'm introverted, but I love people. I'm curious but shy. I'm contemplative and easily distracted. I feel deeply and know numbness. I want to make things right and I'm learning to let go. I wax poetic sometimes and often don't know what to say. It's complicated. It boggles me that I am Christ's and he is mine. I gaze into the heavens and the Heaven-Maker's words, remember the hard things, fight depression, and long for home and King. I'm sojourning.
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1 thought on “Numb”
Oh sister I hear you – I pray this prayer daily – increase my faith Lord – I want to see You ..,
Oh sister I hear you – I pray this prayer daily – increase my faith Lord – I want to see You ..,