Chasing Normal?

My sister once told me she believed God appointed to me the hard things I’m walking through because he is using my life to encourage other people to trust and obey him.

I want that, but I also confess I don’t.

Part of me just wants a “normal” life with ease. No ongoing marital struggle. No conviction about things that the world around me, even my own family, think I’m being ridiculous about. But that part of me is a silent cancer in my soul and I choose to slay it with truth.

The truth is no one has a normal life. I get to hear lots of peoples’ stories as a nurse. When you start talking to people you find out the abnormal things that are in everyone’s lives. But the desire to have a normal life comes from something written in me, and in us all, that knows there is a normal. There is a life that is whole and right. There is a life that is good and desirable. There is a life full of pleasantness and pleasure. That life is Christ.

The idea that I should resist or flee the struggles I face to try and find a more “normal” life in another person, or a better income, or more convenience, or a better climate or withdrawing from people and getting back to nature, or whatever… that idea is a lie.  It’s a trick.  It’s a wild goose chase intended to keep you from facing reality.  It’s a wasting of your life.  The reality is we are all messed up people.  We all have to face the wrongs we and others do and the damage it causes in our relationships and in the world.

Without knowing Christ, the abnormal lives we all live have to be explained and managed somehow. Enter religion, atheism, humanism, or any other ism people use to try and manage the mess we all are.  But with Christ, we taste of the normal life we long for.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! – Psalm 34:8 

The Bible talks about a new man, comparing Christ- the new man- with Adam, the first man, the man we all come from.  Adam and everyone after him live abnormal lives with a longing for normal life.  Christ came into the world to offer us his life. Real life.  Christ’s life is given to those who believe him and love him.  As a Christian, I have the very life of the new man, the normal man, living in me.  And whereas before, the first man, the abnormal man, was striving to hold on to some semblance of normalcy, chasing it wherever he caught a glimpse of it, the new man I am knows I have it already.  So I can go through the trials and sufferings I face in life with an open heart and hand.  I can do like Jesus said and let my broken life be used to bring new life.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. -John 12:24-25.  

That’s a very strange thing to say to us abnormal people, holding tight to our lives, trying to self-preserve and keep our lives as normal as possible. But to the Christian, it is the new way, the normal way to live.

Jesus is God in the flesh.  The God Man humbled to dying human cells in an abnormal human family in a world full of the abnormal people damaging each other and the world around them.  He came bringing new life.  A life-giving life.  A life united with the God who made us.  And the way he did it was to die and over come death as the God-Man.  Now his life is in us who believe in him.  And his way is now our way.  We can give our lives away because we know we already have life in Christ.

C.S. Lewis said “Nothing you have not given away will ever truly be yours.”

I don’t know what Lewis was eluding to.  I haven’t read the entirety of Mere Christianity yet.  But he points to the truth that when you have life in Christ, you can deny yourself, you can loose your life, because its yours!  Jesus said:

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? -Luke 9:23-25

We all want normalcy.  But we all have to deal with an abnormal life.  We’ll do so one of two ways- futile attempts at self-preservation and chasing glimpses of ease, comfort and normality.  Or Christ. The normal life I long for I’ve found in Christ.  Now I can let my difficulties and abnormal realities be opportunities to give away the life that is mine forever.

A meditation on saving my life



“See it as a chance to die.”

It’s what I heard walking in the back door after kicking my shoes off with the scattered shoes from every other person in my family. I saw all those shoes, not even in simple pile, and thought of all the times I’ve bent over to pick up shoes and put them in their right place, or called the shoes’ rightful owner to come pick them up and put them in their right place, and I thought, “Why do I even try? I clean up after people all the time, trying to keep some semblance of order in this house but it’s a loosing battle. I mind as well just get rid of the laundry baskets, cause everyone just throws their dirty clothes on the floor. And I mind as well get rid of the shoe box on the patio cause people in this house don’t even seem to care if two shoes are in close proximity to one another!”

As I walked into the kitchen throwing my mental pity party, taking note of all the misplaced coats, hats, blankets, toys, gaming controls, mail, dishes, pens, pencils, papers, and clothing, I heard Elizabeth Elliot say, “See it as a chance to die!”

I really love E. Elliot.  She’s one of my spiritual “older women”.  She’s a no-nonsense, Five Solae exalting woman.  You can’t listen to her and not be clear about the gospel of Christ or His amazing love or our sinfulness.  One of Elliot’s inspirations was Amy Charmichael.  It was Amy who originally said, “Missionary life is simply as a chance to die!” inspiring Elliot to apply that truth to her everyday life.

Christians are called to a most peculiar calling: to die daily.  We don’t die in the 6 foot under sense daily, but we die to our own “rights” and plans and powers.

Usually when I hear those words from Christ in Luke, “And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.“, I think of big sacrifices.

Missionaries like Amy Carmichael and Elizabeth Elliot surely did take up their crosses and follow Jesus in their work as missionaries, but loosing one’s life for Christ sake is not lived out only by missionaries and pastors and those in “full-time ministry”.

Every shoe picked up with a heart of forgiveness, every gentle call to a child to come clean up after themselves, every patient ignoring of a pile of laundry to look into the eyes of world-weary man who’s inviting you to just come sit with him for awhile… all this is a daily dying.  And every irritation I run into in a day is another chance for me to die.  Again.

But there’s more.  Notice the goal of what Christ said , “… but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”  

I don’t really want to die.  Neither in the six foot under sense, nor in the daily stuff sense.  I want to live!  And if you look at the goal of what Christ is saying here, dying isn’t the ultimate goal either!  Living is!

The difference between what I believe and what the health and wealth, get-your-best-life-now folks believe is time.  I believe what Christ said: if we loose our lives now for his sake, we will actually be saving it.  In this life we don’t strive to get our best life and the best stuff and the fountain of youth.  In this life we lay all that down to love others in Christ’s name… with his character.  But in the resurrection we will have no death, no disease, no lack, no pain… pleasures forevermore in the presence of our Savior!

So yes, I choose to see those shoes and the daily messes as a chance to die, but beyond that dying I see my best life coming.

Oh Lord, give me eyes to look past the messes and irritations and daily dyings to the beyond-words life I’ve tasted of in the Spirit now, but will one day fully experience!

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 

– Colossians 3:2-4

 Quieted,
Sheila

An Easter Allegory


My first attempt at an Easter Allegory. A story about the foolishness of not dying to yourself to follow the Savior of the World in light of His death and resurrection.


There once was a barn full of seeds. The seeds were piled up high waiting to be planted.

One group of seeds didn’t want to be planted. They managed to work together to hide behind a stack of hay so that when the farmer came they would be left behind.

As the bags of seed were taken for planting, the bag of seed which had hidden themselves began bragging and laughing about how smart they were to break away and make it on their own.

One day a loose seed, which had fallen out of one of the bags that had been taken for planting, was swept along by a large gust of wind and landed beside the hiding bag of seed.

The lonely seed said, “Oh no! The farmer has left a bag of seed here!” But the bag full of seeds cried out, “No! The farmer didn’t leave us. We are hiding! We don’t want to be planted. We don’t want to fall apart in the dirt. We want to enjoy being seeds and stay right here.”

The lonely seed answered with great concern, “But don’t you realize that you are all going to rot here over the winter and die anyway?

Haven’t you heard about the King of Seeds?

We all came from Him. He laid down His life and was planted in our ground and rose up into life-giving wheat! If you don’t let yourself get planted in the ground just as He did, you will never get to live as grain and be made into bread to feed people. You’ll die alone! But if you go out into the field and die in the ground you will sprout up into a totally new thing. You’ll become a beautiful plant. And then you’ll become many more seeds and more plants and more bread. You’ll never really die. But if you stay here and hide, the winter will come and you will rot and then be burned.”

Most of the seeds in the bag began to boo and scream, “Go away! We’re happy just as we are!” But a few seeds cried out, “Can you help us! We don’t want to stay here and rot! We want to be planted by the farmer so we can be raised up into wheat and made into bread and more seeds!”

So the seeds who longed to become wheat managed to rub a hole through the bag and spill out. A gust of wind blew the seeds far from the proud bag and were scooped up by the farmer’s son. The son then carried the seeds excitedly to his dad, the farmer, asking if he could plant them.

So the son of the farmer planted the seeds. He watched and waited and watered them while the hiding bag of seed lay undiscovered behind the hay in the barn.

After weeks had past and harvest time came the lonely seed and his eager friends were growing tall and beautiful in the field. Each were cut down. Some of their grains were taken to be ground into flour. Some were taken to be planted again. All of them were happy to be living as a new thing and giving life to others. But the selfish, hiding bag of seed lay abandoned in the barn and when winter came, they all rotted.

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.” -John 12:25

Paul explained, “But someone may ask, “How will the dead be raised? What kind of bodies will they have?” What a foolish question! When you put a seed into the ground, it doesn’t grow into a plant unless it dies first. And what you put in the ground is not the plant that will grow, but only a bare seed of wheat or whatever you are planting. Then God gives it the new body he wants it to have.

A different plant grows from each kind of seed. Similarly there are different kinds of flesh—one kind for humans, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish. There are also bodies in the heavens and bodies on the earth. The glory of the heavenly bodies is different from the glory of the earthly bodies. The sun has one kind of glory, while the moon and stars each have another kind. And even the stars differ from each other in their glory.

It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies.

The Scriptures tell us, “The first man, Adam, became a living person.” But the last Adam—that is, Christ—is a life-giving Spirit.

What comes first is the natural body, then the spiritual body comes later.

Adam, the first man, was made from the dust of the earth, while Christ, the second man, came from heaven.

Earthly people are like the earthly man, and heavenly people are like the heavenly man. Just as we are now like the earthly man, we will someday be like the heavenly man.

What I am saying, dear brothers and sisters, is that our physical bodies cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever. But let me reveal to you a wonderful secret. We will not all die, but we will all be transformed!

It will happen in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed.

For our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies.

Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”

For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 15:35-57

Happy Easter!

Sheila