Arguing with a sovereign God: Confessions of a back talker

toddler with red adidas sweat shirt
Photo by mohamed Abdelgaffar on Pexels.com

Today at church a guest pastor preached.  And I mean preached. And it hit me right upside the head.

Both this week and last my pastor, and the pastor who preached today, brought a message about the sovereignty of God and how it is that people come to salvation by God’s election from Romans 9. Truths were proclaimed with light and passion that drove away the snakes that wanna slither up and bite you with doubt about the goodness of the God of the Bible.

I confess I had a really hard time last week with what was proclaimed.  I found myself like Jacob, wrestling with God and there was no nice neat bow to wrap up my attempts to grip and twist God into someone I could have some kind of control over.  I scribbled notes in my bullet journal about how not everyone who calls themself a Christian is a Christian.  Just like everyone who called themself a child of Abraham in Jesus’ time wasn’t really a child of Abraham.  Big amens resounded from my heart. I could see that and I agreed.

But when he said, “Jacob I have loved and Esau I have hated” I tried to do a low center of gravity blow to the God who created the universe and take him down to a place where I could get hold.  I sobbed my way through that preaching. I stopped scribbling notes and eeked out a poem:

I keep wrestling with your sovereignty
I want to give up
What good does it do to be angry
I just can’t stop until you bless me

I couldn’t hide my arguments from God.  I wanted to know if my husband was Esau.  “Do you hate him?!”  I thought.  As though he was a defendant and I the prosecutor.

I tried to listen and grab hold of something tangible.  But like a strong, sweaty man, wrestling God’s sovereignty was breaking me. He wan’t submitting to my grip.

Although I left last Sunday limping, broken, not understanding, I resigned myself to wait for his blessing.  To wait for the day when I would hear some sweet message of hope in the hard sound of his all-powerful voice.

Today was the day.

I limped through this week, and today he blessed me.  Not with cupcakes and sprinkles.  No cheap, easy-to-swallow feel-good message today.  But a blessing of a good father.  I finally saw the look in his eye.  I had been throwing a fit and he caught my eye today and I realized, I’m a back-talking child of God.

The pastor today said many things I scribbled down, caught in attention like a misbehaving child stopped by her dad’s strong and serious voice.  But one particular thing brought me to my knees.  He said:

Whenever we begin to question a sovereign God on issues of justice and mercy we are way out of our depth…
God is God therefore whatever he does is godly.
God is God therefore whatever he does is just.
God is God therefore whatever he does is good.

I’m not comparable to Job.  I’ve suffered pains of the heart but not the trauma, pain and loss he did.  But I thought of Job hearing the preaching of the good news in the hard truth of God’s soveriegnty today.  I thought of Job’s reasonable arguments and God’s response:

Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!

And the Lord said to Job:
“Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?
He who argues with God, let him answer it.” (Job 38:3-5, 40:1-2)

God is good.  The God who would reveal himself in a suffering servant, bearing the sins of the people who would love him.  And who am I?  I don’t understand. I’m way out of my depth to think I can bend God to my will and make him do what I think is just and right.  And why would I even think I could do that!?

I’m a slow to believe believer.  I’m a back-talking daughter of God.  And today I was humbled by his strong voice and loving character.  I know he’s good.  I know that. I can go on that.

Like Gandalf getting grumbling Bilbo’s attention with his booming voice while Bilbo tried to sneak around giving over the ring of power in his pocket, I was stopped in my tracks today.  Reduced to a whimpering, “I’m sorry Father!”  I walked the aisle to the broken bread and the crushed fruit of the vine and handed over the ring.  He is God.  And he is so good as to make himself broken for me.  I surrender.

 

Three Practical Ways to Take Refuge in God

Photo Credit

I’ve been thinking a lot these last few months about what it means practically to take refuge in God.  Refuge isn’t a term we use often personally.  On a political level we may think of refugees, and the place they go to flee the danger in their homeland as a place of refuge.  But for the Christian, the idea of God being a refuge should be very real, personal and practical.

Christians are not at home with the ways of this world.  We feel like foreigners here.  We don’t have the same desires we used to have.  We once partied like the world, were greedy like the world, sought self above all like the world, and hid from the pain and brokenness in this life in various ways.  Those ways were once our refuge.  Before Christ shone on our hearts and broke our chains we hid from the suffering of death, betrayal, loss and pain in people, temporary pleasures, mind-altering substances, sleep, money, withdrawal, food… and many other various cotton-candy hiding places.  In those days, we found that hiding in those places gave us an escape from one pain only to be bound by the chains of another.   Since Christ has come into our lives, we know that only he can truly hide us in times of trouble.  We fail many times, running back to old hiding places that can’t shelter us from the storms of this life.  But ultimately, it is Christ that we run to, because as our brother quick-fall-Peter said, who else is there to go to? Only Christ has the words of life.

But what does it look like to hide in Christ?  What does it look like to run to God as refuge?

The Psalms are full of declarations that God is the psalmist’s refuge.  The psalmist runs to God when he’s betrayed, when he’s chased, when he’s surrounded, when he’s found in sin, when he’s sick, when he’s in pain, when he’s depressed, he even runs to God for refuge when he feel like God has forgotten him.  Why?  And how?

There’s definitely more than one blog post worth writing on this subject.  Just taking the time to read through the Psalms and notice how often the writer calls on God as a refuge could be a devotional for a year.   I want to focus on one particular Psalm and think about how we as Christians take refuge in God.

Psalm 57 has a small title under it in my Bible that says, “To the choirmaster: according to Do Not Destroy. A Miktam of David, when he fled from Saul, in the cave.”

David wrote this psalm when he fled from Saul in a cave it says.  Saul was the king of Israel God had told was no longer going to be king.  He was loosing his mind and was murderously chasing David to kill him, knowing David was to be the king in his place.  Now that’s a situation to feel like one might  need to find refuge somewhere.  I’ve never had to flee physical danger, but like David, I know the feeling that my soul is “bowed down”, or “in the midst of lions.”

As I read through this Psalm I find three practical ways to run to God for refuge:

1) Call on God’s mercy
2) Remember God’s sovereignty
3) Expect God’s faithfulness

Call on God’s Mercy

“Be merciful to me O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge. In the shadow of your wings I take refuge ’til the storms of destruction pass by.” -Psalm 57:1

God is not a big, fluffy teddy bear to run to when you need to throw a tantrum.  He’s not a neutral zone where anyone can come and get away from trouble.  He’s almighty and holy.  He’s a righteous judge and knows the heart of every man.  He’s unable to be OK with sin in any amount or kind.  He’s perfect.  He is to be feared.  And anyone who might try to stand before him would find themselves toast without the means he has provided to cause none of that righteous anger against sin to be aimed at them.  And that means is Christ.  Christ is the propitiation (big, church word) for us who believe in him, that is, he takes all the condemnation aimed at us from God.  To say it another way, Christ satisfies the need for God to destroy sin and sinner.  If God were to ignore sin he would not be a good God or a just God.  God’s perfect justice demands the destruction of sin and the sinner.  Otherwise the malignancy of sin (which we all see everyday in our broken world and in our own lives) would spread unchecked, and God would not be sovereign or good.  But God is not only perfectly just he is also gloriously gracious and merciful.  He is love.  Therefore he humbled himself to be what we could not be and do what we could not do.  That is mercy.  And for the Christian, calling on God’s mercy as displayed in Christ, is to call on the only power strong enough to shield our souls from the lies and traps and chains we so easily believe and turn to.   We call on this mercy in our prayers every day.  We call on this mercy when we face our failures once again.  We call on this mercy when we feel the threat of fears that we were once controlled by.  In calling on God’s mercy we remind our souls to hope in the God who died for our sins so that we could be in friendship with him and no longer fear his judgement.

Remember God’s Sovereignty

“I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” – Psalm 57:2

Whatever we flee to for refuge must be more powerful than the situations we’re fleeing from.  Only God can be that.  I don’t claim to understand the workings of God’s sovereignty or the whys.  But I know that when I face the sting of death, or the fear of rejection, or the terror of an enemy, or the betrayal of a companion or any other hard and painful suffering, there is only One who can do anything about it.  The Creator of the universe.  It’s in knowing that the very God I run to for refuge is the God who has designed this suffering in my life to purify my faith and make me more like Christ that I find a true place to hide.  He may not take away the pain of this suffering, but he’s the only one who can.  And one day he will take it away.  It may not be now.  But it will be.  In the mean time, I run to the One who rules over it and trust him to use it as a tool in my life for my good.  He cares.  He hears.  He loves.  And He will rescue.  In remembering God’s sovereignty I hide my soul from the lies that God is punishing or God has forgotten or God is helpless.  He rules over what hurts me and he uses it to fulfill his good purposes for me.

Expect God’s Faithfulness

“He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!” Psalm 57:3

Knowing God’s faithfulness requires a history with God.  If you don’t have much of a history with him, look to the book of his-story, and look to his people both living and dead.  The God of the Bible has a long history of unbroken promises and faithfulness to unfaithful people.  As the psalms say so often, his faithfulness reaches to the skies!  If I were to try to write out the zillions of ways God has shown he is faithful there wouldn’t be enough atmosphere to contain the words!  But when we find ourselves in the midst of the storms of destruction God’s faithfulness comes into question in our minds.  Has he forgotten us?  Is he even there?  Does he care?  This is where the Bible points us to a cloud of witness who say: God is faithful!  He will not abandon!  Hebrews 11 is famous for being the hall of faith, calling to account the names and stories of the people of old who have lived by faith.  But as you read through these stories and names it is not the faith of these people so much that encourages ours, but the faithfulness of the One they had faith in.  Noah built an ark from faith, believing what God warned him.  But it was God who saved Noah and his family from the storm of destruction that came on the whole world!  Abraham ultimately believed God when his body was as good as dead despite his failed attempt to fulfill God’s promise for him.  But it was God who did the miracle of giving Abraham and Sarah Isaac despite their dying bodies.  And I could go on and on to recount how God was faithful to Joseph even in the betrayal of his brothers and the lies that landed him in Pharaoh’s prison.  And how God did not forget his people in Egypt but prepared and sent Moses, hearing their cries for deliverance from slavery even though they were a stiff-necked people.  And how God heard the humble confession of a prostitute in a wall of a city he was about to destroy and saved Rahab.   Not to mention Ruth and Noami or Esther or Daniel or Paul or the many who have died as a result of their faith and who’s deaths have been the seed through which a harvest of souls were faithfully rescued by God.  I remember God’s faithfulness as I read my Bible, look to the lives of Christians throughout history and in my life today and look back at my life as I’ve imperfectly walked with him.  He is faithful!  Remembering this is sure refuge for my tired soul.

I may not be able to see my soul like I see my body, but just as my body would run to a strong structure to hide from a destroying storm, my soul runs to God to hide from the destructions that threaten when I face pain, death, betrayal, temptations, my sin, weariness, anxiety and many other soul-storms.  My soul runs when I open my mouth and call on his mercy, when I recall God’s power over all things, and when I open my Bible and remember his faithfulness.

Love. Suffering. And the Heart-Stream Turner.

(Old pic, boys have grown a lot in a couple years.)

Here it is approaching midnight. I so wanted to sit down and write out some thoughts from today earlier but a neighbor popping in, a child wanting to play cards, a husband not feeling well and soap to be made stood in my way.

So, here I am, printing labels for soap at the very end of this 2nd Sunday in Advent and writing out some thoughts with this very tired brain.  Consider yourself forewarned.

Today’s reading was reflecting on love and today at church we heard from 1 Corinthians 6, not an apparent tie here, but there are these two questions:

Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?

I remember having a Bible study with a lady once who seemed appalled at the thought that you should do something or refrain from doing something because it might cause that person to stumble in their walk with Christ.  I remember the look on her face that said, “That cannot mean that!  That’s co-dependency.  I can do whatever I want.”  I remember thinking she doesn’t get it.  She still thinks Christianity is something you add like a cherry to the top your personally selected sunday life.  She certainly doesn’t think Christianity is taking up your cross and following Jesus daily in dying to yourself and bearing with others, even suffering.

That section in 1 Corinthians that asks those two small questions… that’s the part that came to mind when I read this evening’s Advent reading on love.

Christ suffered wrong and was defrauded along the path to glorify the Father and bring me (and all those who would believe) back into a right relationship with God.

I will suffer wrong and be defrauded in this life as I set out to glorify my Father and point others to Christ.

That’s the price of love.  But oh is it worth it!

To the one who holds tightly to all they have to uphold their worth, suffering wrong and being defrauded is to be avoided and must be avenged at all cost.

But to the one who knows all things are theirs in Christ; who knows their worth and identity are found in him, to suffer wrong and be defrauded is a light and momentary affliction on the path of Christ-like love.

Being a Timothy-Mom to two boys in a divided house is hard.  It’s been really hard these last 48 hours.  But God amazes me how, “The king’s heart is like a stream of water in the hand of the LORD- he turns it wherever he will.” I worried.  And I took all those worries and cried and poured out my heart before the only One who can do anything about a 12 year old boy’s heart and his tired, unbelieving dad. And He turned that unbelieving heart toward wisdom.  And gave him the right words for his troubled son.  And I stood there in the hall and thanked God for hearing my cries and intervening.

I will trust Him!  There is no one like my God!

Quieted,
Sheila

Martha and I

Every time I read the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, I’m taken back by his exchange with Martha. I see in Martha’s words my inevitable human inclination to not get God yet act like I’ve got him figured out.

It’s what Martha says.  Jesus has finally showed up at the scene of his grieving friends’ home where Lazarus has been 4 days dead.  Martha, the busy-in-the-kitchen sister, runs to Jesus not for comfort, not for help, but to protest.  “If you had been here my brother wouldn’t have died!”  She accuses.  I can hear the anger and disappointment in her voice.  She believed Jesus was powerful enough to have healed her brother when he was sick, but she didn’t believe there was a thing he could do now that her brother was dead.

She throws out a hail Mary, “But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”  When I read the rest of the exchange she has with Jesus it’s apparent that she doesn’t think Jesus will be able to raise Lazarus from the dead.  So what does she mean by this?  Maybe she’s just saying what she thinks she’s figured out about God: God gives his Chosen One whatever He asks, but the Chosen One doesn’t himself raise the dead.    She’s declared what she thinks she’s got figure out about God.

Jesus tells her that her brother will rise again and she quips back with more of her authoritative knowledge of God,  “Duh!  I know that!  I know he’ll rise from the dead in the end when everyone else does!”  (My paraphrase).

Then Jesus, the only One who really knows God inside and out and who says with absolute authority the exact truth about God declares, “I am the resurrection and the life.  Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.  Everyone who believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this Martha?

In my version: I know you think you have God down to a science Martha, but here’s the truth.  Do you believe it?

Martha, Martha, Martha.  I’m just like you.  We’re all just like you.  Even when face to face with the undeniable truth about God, even with Bible opened, hymns sung, prayers muttered, and orthodox church attended we still take what God has revealed about himself in Jesus, and in stubborn unbelief, hang our heads when faced with what we don’t understand and can’t do a thing about.  We quote in wrote what we know we’re supposed to know and think we have a full handle on.  But we don’t really believe a word of what we say we know.

Yes, Lord,” she told him.  “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one has come into the world from God.”

She didn’t know a single thing she just said.  But she said it.  She was orthodox.  She knew the right answer.  And if she was in a debate with a person who declared what they knew about the gods she would have put them in their place with her authoritative declaration that there is One God and His Messiah would come and set them straight!  If only she really believed what she said.  If only she really knew who it was standing there in front of her.  But she really didn’t.

I’m a Christian.  And if you need adjectives I’m an orthodox, Calvanistic, reformed Christian.  I believe there is one God and that He is Father, Son and Spirit.  I believe in the Christ, the only begotten son of the Living God.  I believe I’m made right with God simply and impossibly by my belief in Christ’s death as the only propitiation that satisfies the wrath of God for my sins.  I believe that Christ rose from the dead on the third day and that the Spirit of the Living God dwells in me.  I believe one day I too will be raised from the dead and will live forever in abundant life where fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore are mine because I’ll be in the presence of my Savior.  And beyond understanding, I believe that in that day, when I see Him, I’ll be made like Him- sinless, an Image-of-God Bearer, a Redeemed One.  I believe right now I’m being transformed into that image and am being led by the same God through many tribulations as I follow the steps of my Savior.  And finally, I believe all this that I believe, I only believe, because God made me alive to Himself when I was dead as a doornail.  Even my belief is a gift from Him.

Now that’s a loaded paragraph.  I claim to believe all this.  I say I know God to be these things.  But the reality is, like Martha, I claim a lot of things I really know nothing about.  This is not to say they are not true, but that the mountain of truth that they are is greater than my puny understanding.

Like Martha, my belief, my proclamation about God does not show my all encompassing knowledge, but rather, shows that an all-knowing God has rocked my world.  Like Martha.  And despite my unbelief in the things I claim I believe, He’s still proving himself to be to me the resurrection and the life.

Quieted,
Sheila

Hard

It’s a hard and heavy thing. But I wouldn’t want the Rock of my life to be anything else. I wouldn’t want my Rock to be soft when hurricanes or cancer or an abandoning spouse or a present unbelieving one or disrespectful kids or scorpion infested apartments or anything else that shatters a person’s foundation comes.

Nevertheless, its still a hard and heavy thing to confess:

Come, and let us return to the LORD; For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up. – Hosea 6:1

You can only find comfort in this hard and heavy truth when you’ve been slain by the painful things.

This truth searches me.  It shakes whatever can be shaken.  It proves if He’s enough, or if there’s something else I’m leaning on.


Is He enough if I work full-time or part-time or not at all?  Is He enough if I home school or take the kids to a private school or a public school?  Is He enough if I live close to family or far away in a desert?  Is He enough if I live in a comfortable home or one that’s mostly a safety hazard?  Is He enough if my house is clean or cluttered?  Is He enough if I’m physically strong or struggle with health problems? Is He enough if my husband loves me and loves Christ and teaches the kids the scriptures or if he doesn’t?  Is He enough if my children trust Christ and follow Him or if they don’t?  Is He enough if the kids obey me or if they argue and oppose and challenge? Is He enough if I have a close confidant… or if it feels like I can’t turn to anyone?

The rock-solid truth of the Sovereignty and pure-love discipline of my Father God is standing up to my idols, knocking them down and blowing away the things that bind me.


“Though You Slay Me” (featuring John Piper) from Desiring God on Vimeo.

 Quieted,
Sheila

The problem of evil

I was asked tonight why God doesn’t end the evil now, why wait? I was asked why pray to a God who is going to let evil continue?  “Why pray He’s not going to change His mind, He’s going to do whatever He’s going to do anyway!”

I feel like I failed miserably in my attempts to answer.  I pray somehow, in my weakness, God would show Himself strong and speak truth in the ears of the ones with understandable questions.

As I sat tonight after reading about Elijah, calling on God in a set-up to prove nothing is impossible with Him and that He alone is God, and after reading the prophecy that some day, the lion will lie with the lamb, and after reading Peter’s letter to answer the questions about why and how long- he said God is patient, not wanting anyone to perish, but wanting everyone to come to repentance.  God is waiting for us.  He is not slow in bringing about His promise to bring evil to an end, He is patient to draw us out first.  After I read all this, and watched some of my questioners fall asleep as I read, feeling like my words were falling on sleeping ears, feeling like no awakening was getting in, I went out to the couch and watered the word I spoke with my tears.

And I called on God, the God who is God even over Connecticut.  Even over sleeping ears and doubting hearts and questioning men.  I cried:

Why shouldn’t I call on You Lord?  Who should I call on?  Should I call on no one?  Shall I hide in my hobbies?  Or TV?  Or music?  Or food?  Or politics?  Shall I stick my head in the sand and act as though nothing is happening?  Shall I carry on numbly as though nothing is ever going to change?  Shall I act as though I can save myself and live the good life while those around me fall victim to evil?  Shall I call on politicians?  Or philosophers?  Shall I call on new laws or religious leaders?  Shall I call on education or psychologists?  Shall I call on philanthropists or musicians?  Shall I call on neighbors to rally?  Shall I become a hermit and flee from the troubles of the world?  Shall I call on no one?  

Who have I but you Lord?  Even if nothing I think should change changes because I call on You, does that mean you don’t hear, or don’t care?  Shall I not cry to you and ask you to change things and yet surrender to your goodness and sovereignty and acknowledge my brevity and fallenness?  

Do I presume to know what you should do?  Shall I not entrust myself to You who sees all things and knows all things and is working all things according to Your will?  I choose to cry to You, not turn from You.  I don’t understand.  I can’t explain You.  I can’t defend You.  I can’t convince others of You.  But I will call on You.  Though evil seems to prevail, though the ones I love seem to doubt You, though I myself do not understand why Your will plays out this way, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation!  I will run to the only One who saves!  I will choose to believe Your promise to one day make all things new through Christ who is your answer to the problem of evil.

And so I go looking for others whose faith will stoke the smoldering reed of mine.  I pick up If God is Good on my Kindle and start reading:

“The cross is God’s answer to the question ‘Why don’t you do something about evil?'”- Chapter 21 of If God is Good by Randy Alcorn.

“God may already be restraining 99.99 percent of evil and suffering…  Given the evil of the human heart, you’d think that there would be thousands of Jack the Rippers in every city.  Her statement stopped me in my tracks.  Might God be limiting sin all around us, all the time?  Second Thessalonians 2:7 declares that God is in fact restraining lawlessness in this world.  For this we should thank Him daily.” – Chapter 30 of If God is Good by Randy Alcorn.

“Behind almost every expression of the problem of evil stands an assumption:  we know what an omniscient, omnipotent, morally perfect being should do.  But we lack omniscience, omnipotence, and moral perfection- so how could we know?  We should rescue ourselves as judges.  As finite and fallen individuals, we lack the necessary qualifications to assess what God should and should not do.  Not only do we know very little, even what we think we know is often distorted.- Chapter 35 of If God is Good by Randy Alcorn

Quieted,
Sheila

What are you learning?

Whoa! What a day!

What am I learning?

Where do I start?

I’m continuing my reading through the Psalms and have been really impressed by the emphasis in the Psalms on God’s trustworthiness when it comes to making sure right is done by His kids… even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

I’ve also been recalling Bible prophecies as I see the news unfold and it seems that the tiny plot of property, Israel, is increasingly a cup of trembling to the world. I’ve been just listening and praying for discernment so that I can give an answer to those who ask a reason for the hope that is in me in the times I live.

But as I pause to really think about what I’ve been learning from the Lord this week 2 MAJOR points come to mind:

1. God is sovereign and is able to accomplish the good He desires in the lives
of those I love even when I’m not there (Imagine that! 🙂

And

2. There is something really special and really spiritual-muscle building about
secret times of prayer and fasting.

I’m at a time in my life where I’m being asked to go back to work, and not just asked, led. Led by the Lord. And I have as much nervousness, excitement, and peace about it as I did about His leading to stay home 4 years ago. Only this time, I’m not going to make the same mistake I did when He led me to stay home by trying to make a doctrine about whether a woman should or shouldn’t work outside her home… that is just not part of God’s word. (But that’s a whole ‘nother post)

Today, as I was getting ready to leave to take a class that I needed to be able to go back to work, God sooooo reminded me of the heart-work HE’s accomplishing in my children and husband’s lives, and that “Unless the LORD builds the house…” the wise wife who labors to build it is building it in vain. He reminded me that HE IS building my house and so I can trust Him as He leads me in being away from them for hours at a time.

Here’s what happened:
I had just gotten out of the shower and I heard my husband in the living room playing his guitar… some Dave Matthews tune he’s been working on for awhile. Anyway, then I heard my sons, who were at the table say, “Dad, play, (singing) ‘Our God is an awesome God He reigns from heaven above with wisdom, power and love, our God is an awesome God!‘” Then I heard my husband saying, “No, Connor, why don’t you sing that ‘Blessed Be the Name’ song and I’ll play it.” So there I was, fighting back tears with a big grin on my face and a heart full of flutters, with my husband playing “Blessed Be the Name” on the guitar, and my two sons belting it out as loud as they could at the breakfast table. I joined them. And I found myself singing with my imperfect family, praises to the God who “gives and takes away.”

He has given me this home. He has given me 4 years to be solely at home. He has given me the call to serve as unto the Lord in homemaking whether I’m working or not. He has given me the call to “build” my house. And He has also taken away some of the time I’m present with them, calling me to trust Him. And so I am.

As far as the prayer and fasting this is something I’ve been struggling to grow in for sometime. And since my kids are up from their nap and I’m home now, I think I’ll save the neat stuff the Lord is teaching me about prayer and fasting for next week. 🙂

Our God is good. He is Sovereign. His goal is not to kill our “Isaac’s” but to build our faith in His character, knowing He is able to raise from the dead that which we see as a loss. And I’m learning to trust Him!

Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness; He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. A good man deals graciously and lends; He will guide his affairs with discretion. Surely he will never be shaken; The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance. He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is established; He will not be afraid…” Psalm 112:4-8a

Head over to Gina’s (Chats With an “Old Lady”) and share what you’re learning.

Redeeming the time