between 16 and the day after tomorrow
it’s a disorienting fog
a miry bog
to get bogged down in numbers
of years
years that go by fast
days that go by slow
slow as the answer
that hasn’t yet come to my prayer
prayer
pray
for
days
and days
and years
and then you’re 45
and you pray more like
a person lost in the fog
starting to recognize
the sound of feet sinking in
deep
deep in the same spot they
got stuck in last
year at 44
why do you keep going round
and round like
hands on a clock
tick
tock
stop
turn around
take a step
out to the side
side by side
with the one
who got you this far
down the road
the road is not going
in circles
just time
but you are running a race
it’s long past this
place
you keep retracing
retrace his steps
keep on because
45 is just a number
along the road
the road
narrow
with a finish line
line up
look up
up where he
saw you and smiled
and said
“It is finished.”
Sheila Dougal 