woman sleeping
Photo by Ivan Obolensky on

Time for bed
time to take my weary head
and lay it down
upon a sham
and close my lids
tuck and press
until i find
that perfect rest.

I’ll die in a sense
no defense
no pretense
no justification
no preparation.

If burglar comes
i won’t be ready
if news breaks
i won’t be savvy.

Helpless here I lay
Can’t deny
I’m vulnerable.

If death comes
while I lie
I won’t be wiser
to try.

Unless another
keeps my watch
I’ll be a sitting duck
every noc.

Why so proud?
Why so driven?
Why act like
life is yours for the living?
You die every day.
You cannot stand by
the thought that
you’ll be here
another eventide.

You don’t know what comes
while you wake
much less what comes
when you’re prostrate.

Now I lie me down to sleep
I pray
because I know I’m weak
I die every day before
I wake
I pray, O Lord,
my soul give rest.

a plea for the Spirit when I’m tired

pexels-photo-573253.jpegThis is not going to be well edited. It’s late. And I’m tired.

Some days I’m just tired of bearing with the sins of others.

I know it’s ridiculously hypocritical because others are having to bear with my sins.  And I know God is faithful and doesn’t grow tired and does not give up when I do.  I know all this, but I need to write it out.  How should I deal with this?  There’s always just going to bed, which at this point is not a bad idea.

Getting tired of the sins of others happens with those you spend the most time with.  I get tired of my husband and kids more than anyone else because I see them, day in day out, warts and all. It’s no coincidence that the relationships between husband and wife, parent and child are the first to be specifically mentioned when the apostle Paul teaches the church about being filled with the Holy Spirit.

‘And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. ‘

Ephesians 5:17-21

Only the Spirit of God does not grow weary in doing good with people who aren’t good. But as one of those not-good people, I grow tired. And nights like tonight, when I want to throw in the towel (whatever that means), what I’m really saying is I need the rest that relying on God brings.

I don’t know how to pray, but the Spirit does.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Romans 8:26 ESV

Every minute of every day it’s the Spirit I’m relying on to produce the endurance to love like Jesus.

Holy Spirit, I’m tired. Restore to me the joy of my salvation, and renew a right spirit within me, then I’ll be able to lead sinners in your ways and love like you love.  Revive me again Lord.  I’m going to sleep trusting you. Hoping in you. Depending on you.