The Homemaker’s getting a job?

I’ve been filling out applications lately and updating my resume. During this process I’ve been thinking a lot about how God has brought me to the place that I am today in regards to how He sees homemaking and how He desires me to enjoy the fullness of His design as a woman, wife and mom.

A few years back, when my husband and I were just begining the rebuilding process after our painful seperation and years of unforgiving marriage, God began to stir my heart towards directions I had not expected or even thought of as something that needed to be thought of.

First He began to stir my heart to pray that He would stir my husband’s heart to want me to be home, not working.

I was easily distracted during that time with my lust for a noted “position” in ministry and an income of my own and therefore went down a tangent where God exposed my ugly, selfish heart. It was REALLY UGLY!

After being totally humbled during a trip to Oregon, the Lord began to hold my wounded soul and whisper to me again His plan for me. He began to show me that His desire for me WAS to be His minister and it WAS to be in an important position using the gifts and talents He’d given me, but it wasn’t what I thought.

He began to show me how important the ministry of homemaking is in His kingdom- for the evangelizing of souls, for the winning of leaders, for the training of children, and for the transformation of societies.

Finally, I had HIS vision, and not my carnal version of it. And when I caught it I took off running! I was so convicted of my own sin of pride, and had seen the ugliness of how I veiwed our wonderful Savior’s perfect plans, that in my zeal, I ran straight to legalism. I really did.

I tend to be this type of person anyway. I want rules and I want to follow them and I want other people to follow them. But God wants relationship and He wants me to respond with the only law in Christ there is- love!

He wants me to obey Him, yes, but He wants me to be fully convinced in my own mind before Him and do whatever I do in love, without condemning or placing a heavy burden on others. He wants me to inspire others not oppress them. But I fell into legalistic thinking for awhile and if you happened to be reading my blog (or website) at that time you may have been bludgeoned by my zealousness about a woman not working outside her own home. If so, I sincerely declare to you I WAS WRONG! AND I PLEAD FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS!

It took awhile for God to bring to the surface all that ugly, legalistic dross so He could burn it away with the perfect zeal of His love. He is an all consuming fire. And I began to burn with His heart, His zeal for wives and moms without anymore judgment and condemnation in regards to homemaking.

I remember one day He spoke to me, “Sheila. I said, ‘Be a homemaker.’ Not, ‘Don’t ever work outside your home!’ Be a homemaker Sheila.”

It was then that I knew His heart towards me and all wives was that of a perfect Father who knows what’s best for His children. I knew He was saying that homemaking is a way a Christian wife is to go about her life not simply the only “job” a wife was permitted to do. I also knew that His heart was that of desiring a wife and mom to not be overburdened and oppressed by the demands of career, not demanding that a wife and mom never work in any capacity outside her home.

I knew that if my God had His perfect will in my life He would free me to never work outside my home again, but to grow and blossom in homemaking and in being the manager of a home that would be a lighthouse in our community for His glory. But I also knew that for the sake of not causing others to stumble He would grant me the strength and grace to work outside my home, being about the ministry of homemaking wherever I was for His glory. I knew ultimately it came down to God’s willingness to subject me to further work for the sake of winning my husband and being an example to others.

Since that time, without any legalism or condemnation, my fervent cry has been for the turning of our hearts as wives towards the ministry of serving Jesus in our homes. It has also been my daily prayer that the Lord would continue to give me favor in my husband’s eyes that I might be used by Him to train my sons and serve my husband for Christ’s glory as a homemaker. But it has also been my prayer, “Nevertheless, not my will Father, but yours be done.”

That brings me to where I am today. My husband has asked me to begin working again and so with a peace that’s beyond understanding or my will, I’m pursuing finding a job that will allow me to take my kids with me.

So far I’m looking at a local child-care center at our gym, but as of right now there are no openings there. Maybe in a month, they said. So that brings me again to praying and talking with my husband. Though I don’t want to put my kids in daycare, that is something that as I pray about and ask the Lord not to require of me through my husband, I again have an unexplainable peace about.

The Spirit has reminded me that although He desires and has planned for me to be that teacher and trainer and nurturer of the two boys He’s given me, He is ultimately in control of their lives. He’s reminded me of Hannah and Moses’ mom, who both had to let go of their children as they committed themselves, and their children, to trusting in God’s soveriegnty.

I’d appreciate your prayers about this. I’m just thankful for today…for the oppurtunity to lay up more treasure in heaven today as I pour out my life in my kids, in serving in my home, and in being my husband’s helper, all for my sweet Jesus who laid down His life for me!

Father, You are perfect. Your ways are perfect. Your design is perfect. It is a joy to serve You no matter where You have me because You will not forget my labor of love and You deserve every bit of my life! You’re my provider. You are my supply! I look forward to what job, what provision, what peace, what deliverance, what open door You have for me and for Your glory!