Category Archives: confesions

A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches.- Proverbs 11:16

I get myopic real easy.  Especially when I’m in pain.  I need to go to church once a week if for no other reason than to get my head pulled out of the proverbial sand and aimed higher than Tuesday!

I’ve used up the 9 volt battery in my Tens 3000 which has effectively taken me from unbearable to bearable in the pain department.  But I’m glad that didn’t happen until after my head was lifted.  It’s easy to give thanks when the trouble has passed, its faith to give thanks in the midst of the trouble.

This morning, sitting there, cringing for a less painful position, faith came by hearing.  Hearing God’s word.  Truth greater than my circumstance.  How petty.  Who cares!  It’s gonna pass in a flash and what’s waiting is better than Italy!  Thank you Lord for your patience with my numb-head self and your Word which yanks me out of the pit and into the light!

My back is actually feeling a lot better tonight after three days of rest, ice, and electricity.  I hope to learn something from either the chiropractor or the physical therapist or both that will help me prevent this from happening again.

My sister is fighting a much tougher battle with her broken wrist, post-surgical plat and pin placement.  Numbness and tendon damage may be irr-reversible.  Lift her head Lord!  Lift her head!  I pray tomorrow’s follow-up brings news of surprising improvements and a positive prognosis.

Tonight I read about Christians in Syria fleeing for their lives.  My husband read about another high-school teacher having sex with her students and her husband’s non-issue with it since they regularly engage in threesomes. And tonight Ryland asked me what Nine – Eleven is.  

We were asked today what on the list of 13 from Romans 12:9-13 were most missing from the Church in 2012 Phoenix Metro. 

“Abhor what is evil.  Hold fast to what is good.”  I said it out loud tonight as James was reading the headlines.  I told Ryland very matter-of-factly, “Men set out to do evil on September 1, 2001.”

I was convicted.  Its easy to see the evil of 9-1-01.  The evil of sexual deviance is poo-pooed not abhorred.  What about lying?  Causing division in a family?  Having a looking-down-my-nose-at-you look in my eye?  The taking of an inconvenient life? (Check here for more)

Create in me a clean heart oh God!  Renew a right spirit within me!  Cause me to abhor what You abhor for You are good.  Totally and completely good!  You are love!  You never hate something wrongly!  You don’t abhor something that is ok.  You don’t twist truth.  You aren’t calling wrong wrong just for the fun of it.  You are good.  Nothing you hate is good.   Give me the courage and humility to say what You say.

Quieted,
Sheila

A piece of my heart…

I’ve had a million posts floating around in my head. I’ve wanted to share with you all about how God’s redefined homemaking for me (I think that could be a series!). I’ve wanted to explain to some of you who’ve followed me because I homeschool why I’m now taking my son to public school. I’ve wanted to share more of my love dare journey with you, and I have about 12 different LOGOS posts going through my head that I want to get written down.

But for now, can I just share a piece of my heart with you?

I read this in Amy Charmichael’s book The Edges of His Ways the other day:

“It is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.” -Luke 12:32

These words have been life to me many a time, and have held me steadfast. Not the devices of the enemy, but our Father’s good pleasure must be accomplished. That word was rock. So when we are facing the impossible, we can count upon the God of the Impossible.

I have been reassuring myself with this sweet promise from Jesus like Amy did years ago.

The desire of my heart to love like Christ, or rather, to be the vessel through which He loves whomever He wills; the impossible walls that separate me from many I love; the giants of deeply rooted wrong ways that are in my life and the lives of those I love; the people all around me in whom I can find no refuge…all of these are impossibilities. I’m overwhelmed! And then I hear the sweet promise, “It’s my pleasure daughter to give you the Kingdom! Ask for the Kingdom. Seek first the Kingdom. Believe ME! It’s my pleasure to give you the Kingdom!“

Oh King of the Universe, come conquer my heart! Come wipe away every fear of man, his looks, his judgements, his prejudices, his anger, his poison gossip. Unite my heart to fear You only! Teach me how to scale walls and how to slay the giants. Be my refuge! Give me courage to walk out there believing that it’s YOUR pleasure to give me these things that I ask for which are in accord with Your will.

Redeeming the time

Where do I, a sinner, fit in the Bible?

Do you ever read passages in the Bible like, “LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart…” (Psalm 15:1-2), and think, “Okay, I guess I’m out! I want to walk uprightly and work righteousness and speak truth in my heart, but if I’m honest, I don’t think I do. In fact I think I fit in better with scriptures like Jeremiah 17:9,

“The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who
really knows how bad it is?” (NLT).

Do you ever feel this condemned feeling when you read scripture and think, “Where do I, a sinner, fit in the Bible? How can I apply these scriptures about righteousness to me?”

Well, I do. I know, that Jesus is my righteousness, but when I’m reading the Bible sometimes, I’m so overwhelmed with the requirement of righteousness I’m so obviously unable to meet that I forget what “Jesus is my righteousness” really means and how to appropriate it in my everyday life.

The other day, while continuing my thru-the-Bible-in-a-year readings (that are going to end up taking me 3 years at the rate I’m going), I came upon a treasure of a scripture. One of those key scriptures that literally unlocks the meaning to all those other ones that I just don’t fit into.

It’s Psalm 32:

A psalm of David. Oh, what joy for those whose rebellion is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped
trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the
LORD.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Therefore, let all the godly confess their rebellion to you while there is time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.
For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise
you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.” Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the LORD. So rejoice in the LORD and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!”

In this passage I see how I, a rebellious sinner with a deceitful and wicked heart can be one of those righteous people who dwell in the Lord’s holy hill.

How can I live a life in complete honesty? BY NOT REFUSING TO CONFESS MY SIN! Living an honest life is not living a sinless life, it is living a life that quickly confess and calls what God calls sin, sin in her life. For instance, when I gossip with my neighbor about something. For the seconds that that sin is hidden in my heart, I feel the weight of conviction, and, when I try to cover it with lies like, “I was just sharing a prayer request.” Or, “I was just concerned about so and so.” Or, “I just needed to vent to someone!”… when I do that, “my strength is evaporated like water.” I’m lying on top of gossipping at such times. I’m not living an honest life. But when I, “confess my rebellion to the LORD,” HE FORGIVES ME! When I just call it what He calls it, He doesn’t reject me, He hides me in HIS righteousness and all my guilt is gone!

Oh HALLELUJAH!!! I found myself in the Bible! I can fit in here! I am one of those whose rebellion is forgiven, not because I’m sinless, but because I come to HIM just as I am and call my ways what He calls them… sin! I can’t tell Jesus I’m sinless, but I can confess my sin to Him and trust in His righteousness to cover me!

Now when I read about those who are godly, or righteous, or those with integrity, or those who have pure hearts I can stick Psalm 32 in there and say, I am those beautiful names that I am not, because I am a rebellious one who’s sin has been forgiven! And He who forgives me has made me godly, righteous, with integrity and pure of heart!

“This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their
righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17

Redeeming the time