I was at a county courthouse today. Not a place I usually spend any time. In fact, except for filing for a legal separation almost exactly two years ago today, I’m never there. Today I was there to file a motion to vacate the order of legal separation.
In that quiet, rigid building I felt like a cloud about to pour out its rain. I didn’t cry until I got to the car. In the building I felt like a little girl following the instructions of a tall police man or principal at school. I did what I was supposed to do to make it right, legally. While I was waiting in line, I overheard a silver-headed woman say with a smile to the silver-headed man sitting next her, “Now’s your chance to back out.” I figured they must be there to get a marriage license. A few minutes later, when they were called to the window, I heard the woman say, “Yes, we’re here to get a marriage license.” The man next to her looked eager and content.
I believe marriage is a mystery and a shadow that speaks of more than two people in love. In fact, I believe all human relationships are not about the people involved… they are about God. They reveal something about the One who created them. The marriage relationship is about God in a very special way in that it reveals the mysterious relationship God the Son has with His Called-Out-Ones.
What we do at the courthouse is a way of honoring marriage. Its not something we can just… do. There’s an appeal to authority involved. In some places that’s the county courthouse, in some places its the patriarch of the family, or a tribe leader. If there’s an end to be made to the marriage, there’s a difficult process involved. I’m glad there is a heavy fee and a lot of legal paperwork involved in separation and divorce. I don’t say that to pour salt in the wounds of divorce or separation. I have those wounds. I’m just saying, the fact that its legally a hassle and costly is just a little bit of evidence that marriages aren’t meant to be torn apart. Because that’s just what happens… you get torn apart.
I wish I could take back the past 3 years. I’m so eternally thankful I can have full confidence that Christ has already bought it back for me. For He works ALL things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, that He might conform us to the image of His Son. (Romans 8:28-29 my paraphrase)
Marriage is His. I want to magnify Him with it! I may not get to keep it, but on my part I want to build it up for His glory.
So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. -Matthew 19:6
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.- Ephesians 5:32-33
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. -Proverbs 14:1