Depression, my servant

silhouette of man standing against black and red background

Photo by Elti Meshau on Pexels.com

you came abruptly
i was fine
did i let you in?
you don’t answer questions

you invade
change the chemistry
like gas
an undetected trap

but now i know you’re here
now i know
and i’ll hold my breath
or poke my head outside instead

i know you want to lull
me to sleep
you want to take away my expression
and numb me

so i’ll move quietly
out back and throw the ball
I won’t open my mouth
won’t let your poison leak out

alone where no one can ask
i’ll say out loud
truths your ether
can’t attack

you can’t asphyxiate
the Man of Sorrows
he swallowed you once and for all
promised my tomorrows

Christ in me
Christ in my eyes
Christ in my mind
impermiable to your lies

Patrick’s words
I’ll chant aloud
no preach
and if i have to, shout

you didn’t ask
you came right in
but you’re not my master
you serve me to win

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