I’m sitting her in my PJ’s in a quiet house, waiting for my oatmeal to finish cooking. I pull up my Bible app on my phone and read the verse of the day:
Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation.- Psalm 68:19
I chuckle and sigh. Daily bears us up. I had just been bemoaning the daily bearing up tasks of being a mom and wife secretly in my heart. Opening the fridge, taking mental note that there’s nothing to make for dinner and I’ll need to go to the store. And we’re out of eggs. And the kids will be up soon and so will begin the grumbling and moaning I’ll get to hear as soon as the call for morning chores is given. And I need to get pellets for the animals. And plan for someone to do the morning chores and milking while I’m gone next week. And I need to make more soap and advertise it and post lotion for sale in the online store. And I need to contact local retailers about carrying our soaps in their stores. And I’ll be going to part-time soon and that’ll leave one more day a week for… for… for daily bearing up the needs of the household.
I sigh for a minute. It’s a blessing that I’m treating like a burden. But no doubt, it is a burden. It’s a burden that has to be born up. Carried. But it’s a burden with blessing built in because it’s a burden that in it’s very nature shares the likeness of God in it. It’s a fellowship of bearing up that I get to share with the Living God everyday!
I am no savior. I do not save my family. I save no one. But I get to let the beauty of what God does shine through my life in walking with him under the load of bearing up. And all the while I point to him as salvation. He is my salvation. He’s why I can bear the burden of the needs of this family with delight in the gift it is to get to do it.
It only begins to feel like a tax on me for one reason: sin. The sins of my husband and children make it painful and draining sometimes to bear the needs of this family. And my own sinful grumbling and lack of faith cause me to feel the unbearable weight of this calling. But when I see through eyes of faith, that I join God in the way of bearing up the needs of others, I feel empowered.
God is using my life to show his way among the nations. Even the Dougals. I tremble. What a high and wonderful call. I don’t need to break the glass ceiling or prove my equality in power with anyone. I know who I am. And Whose I am. And where I’m going. I can bend down and bear today’s burden. Because I’m His daughter. And that’s what He’s doing.